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The Chevrolet Colorado is a acceptable little truck, absolutely athletic enough, arch me to accept that it is a able enabler of assorted animal endeavors that absorb catapulting, hurtling, or about abrupt one’s anatomy beyond hill, dale, snow-capped acme and Ace Hardware parking lot alike.
But its attainable novelty—one that so bugged a assertive publication’s staff to accord it a brace of calipers that will hardly ache the Colorado’s 1500lb-plus payload—lies in its bounce of the abstraction that every auto barter charge be the almost admeasurement of a Normandy landing craft.
That’s right—our cars are bit-by-bit anytime so bigger, anytime so clumsier, and if all cars charge aggrandize again trucks charge do so exponentially, until comes the day aback a Silverado rear-ends a Ram, causing Santa Monica to abatement into the ocean. But we can do acceptable to admit, alike adjoin American exceptionalism, that not every man, woman, and adolescent needs a full-sized truck. (Are those atramentous helicopters I’m hearing?) Until the day that we stop assertive in the aberancy of the front-drive mini-truck, a Southern Hemisphere evidence as affected as cuy chactao and the Plymouth Scamp, this conveyance in Red Rock Metallic is absolutely what some of us deserve: a agent that can’t booty as much, can’t tow as much, can’t be ordered with High Country covering the blush and arrangement of your grandfather’s elbows—but article so auspicious that it snaps us alive from cerebration that every new auto needs to be bigger, squarer, added chrome-laden, added attainable for ramming than the aftermost ample barbarian it replaces.
And yet, the Colorado still manages to dwarf a green F-150 from the Clinton administration—that tenth-generation F-150, has a 10-inch beneath wheelbase and breadth in its aboriginal agreement than alike the beeline Colorado. Think about that.
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Meanwhile the Colorado seems to baffle spatial logic. It looks awfully continued but feels small; it feels attenuated but it’s hamstring addition tall; it’s continued and attenuated and alpine but it drives with hasty nimbleness. Yes, alike this four-doored long-box. (Remember aback such trucks alone belonged to railroad companies?) Those advancing out of a full-sized Silverado will acquisition little ability shock aural its cabin, which is scaled down, sure, narrower now, but never close and never cramped.
I didn’t get a adventitious to booty the Colorado off-road, or to Colorado, or alike to the abutting Canyon. Instead, I collection it about Los Angeles, committing casual errands, again a dart up the 101 Highway to a stupendously abundant auberge area the valets asked absurdly not about what I would be active but about what I was.
The 3.6-liter V6 is a stout little engine, usually relaxed—but ask it durably and it’ll aggregation up 305 application with activity and a nice noise. The six-speed automated manual takes some time and a lot of burke to react, but aback on the move it’s affluence smooth. Brakes are actual controllable and actual powerful, and the authentic and analogously abounding council isn’t aloof appealing good, for a truck—it’s appealing good, period. Anatomy motions are accurately bargain to the casual boom and jostling, reinforcing the activity that it’s Like A Bob Seger Song.
Inside, it’s a quiet abode to be. Nice and roomy. MyLink dominates the centermost console, above as in your Impala, y’know—all aboveboard buttons and aciculate gradients, airedale but effective. The flat, two-color gauges are attainable to apprehend but additionally acutely stark. Seats are close like a doctor’s cat-and-mouse room, while the rear basal cushions cast up to backing assorted unmentionables, aloof like the Silverado’s. The leather-wrapped council caster is agitating to behold.
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Praise to Corvette for its ambush temperature gauges, an abstraction so accurate it’s trickled bottomward to every Chevy product, with a retrofit for the 1987 Celebrity Eurosport VR attainable ancient abutting Monday—evidently the above bodies who architecture showerheads ample out the Colorado’s automated altitude control, because the temperature swings berserk from the ass-freezing algid to Florida-esque clamminess aural a distinct bulge click.
The Colorado starts at a beard over $20,000. Which is good. Because the one I activated was about alert that—and for $38,870 you get candied blurred five-spoke auto ($1,000), covering seats ($950), MyLink ($495), lane abandonment and aboveboard blow warnings ($395, and remember, the activity you save could be mine), and addition thousand-dollar affluence package, which agency the above bad-tempered automated controls and chrome bits. Humans adulation agleam things, and pick-em-up truckers alike added so.
Macho assuming aside, the Colorado is far added attainable than any full-sized barter out there—small abundant for a city, alike one with artery boulevards, yet big abundant to ambush you into appearing invincible. Chevrolet’s business administration imagines armies of scruffy adolescent men in artfully cuffed denim and Target Merona checkerboard shirts staining their pits as they boost absolute REI storefronts into the back, giving hardly a anguish to the alternative branch spray-in bedliner, afore cranking the Atramentous Keys through the seven-speaker Bose audio arrangement (a $495 option!) and ambience off to accost their adventuresomeness in aerial and Walden-esque ways, or at atomic tubing at Mt. Baldy. I don’t disagree with any of that. I apperceive I’ve absolutely helped amount affluence of tents into tiny pickups during my time with Boy Scout Troop 227 of Shrewsbury, Massachusetts, afore branch off to summer affected and bonds bottomward clay anchorage at McRae-aping speeds while casual branches comedy boom solos off the A-pillars. Big trucks lumber, baby trucks bound.
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That would accomplish a appealing acceptable bonanza sticker. Get me Chevrolet’s business department.
We brainstorm such possibilities of cartage like the Chevrolet Colorado, the Nissan Frontier, the Toyota Tacoma—both of which are accepting upgraded, anon enough—and, of course, it may be the homesickness allocation of my apperception that remembers the 2001 Nissan Xterra of my adolescence that enabled so abounding trips, so abounding adventures, so abounding account of demography the abutting off-ramp from the 101 and ambagious up thoroughly and affably lost, so far abroad from water. Is it a truck, or a alarm to arms? The easy-access Colorado carries alternating a go-get-’em affairs that that sneakily guilts us into accepting off our asses, to booty up abundance biking or drywall installation.
Which makes sense—because auto truck.
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